I'm STILL Part of Something Amazing!

Friday night is date night at our house.  It started a little over a year ago and did amazing things for our marriage.  It is on the calendar for all to see.  We have a regularly-scheduled babysitter.  It's official!  

When we started to set it up, over the insistence of a marriage counselor, we didn't think it would be possible.  What was she thinking?  It was not going to work for us to get out alone together once a week.  To find a babysitter for our youngest daughter was an easy feat, but for Shelby? How was it possible to be consistent with that when nursing was anything but?

We had been out... together... solo... a handful of times since Shelby was born. We'd been away overnight without kids only three times in 12 years.  The last two times required flying a family member in to watch Shelby between nursing shifts.

With lots of hard work, a run of consistent nurses and an amazing babysitter who was not intimidated to learn Shelby's emergency care, date night became a reality.  I highly recommend it!

Anyway, back to my first train of thought... I promise this will come full circle.

Last Friday was date night.  We had dinner reservations, a babysitter, and I was out running errands on a tight schedule so that I could be home in time to get ready.  I was on my next-to-last errand with slightly less than an hour to spare.  Perfect!  Then I looked up to see an old friend.  Truth be told, I almost left without acknowledging her.  She hadn't see me yet, and I was in a hurry.  And... I didn't want to cry.

I actually turned around to take off.  And I felt my heart drop into my stomach.  So I turned right back around to greet my dear old friend.  It was not out of guilt, for she would have never have known I was there.  It was out of love and longing to connect with this precious woman.

See, this friend wasn't someone I saw very often at all.  She was a member of a support group I had been attending for over ten years.  This support group is for moms of special needs kids.  We saw one another monthly... sometimes only once or twice a year.  But we speak the same language, share the same joys and fears, and we understand one another on a deep personal level without judgement.  It is a connection that I cannot explain with words, when you have a child with severe special needs and you connect with other moms who get it.

After I turned around to say hello, we spent the next thirty minutes laughing and crying, and we shared our lives with one another, like no time had passed since our last visit.  Time stopped for us.

Then her husband walked by and gave her a look, reminding us that time was not actually standing still for the rest of the world.  It was about then that I heard the ping of my husband texting me, reminding me of our dinner reservation... of date night.

So we shared one more long and loving hug before we parted.  As I left her behind, I realized my cup was full!

You see, when you raise a child with severe special needs, life can be lonely for many reasons.  I've been feeling alone on my new journey.  Very.  Lonely.  My closest friends have been around, but I have not been making the daily connections with all the other people in my life that I've seen almost daily for the last 12+ years.

Friday night was an amazing gift for me!  It taught me that my loneliness is two-fold... me missing Shelby and my own self-isolation.  But that short visit with my dear old friend reminded me that these amazing women are still there for me, and when I'm ready to step out of my own isolation, they will most surely meet me right where I'm at.

I am thankful that I did not turn around around and leave that store without acknowledging my friend!  And I am thankful that, because of Shelby, I am still a part of this amazing group of Super Special Moms!

#whynotjoy #lossofachild #specialneeds #specialneedschild #thankful #grief #friends